Better. Mostly.

Thankyou all for your messages of support and blessings, i'm almost better.

OK, on the weekend at Abbey it was the biggest function of the year, 280 pax for two straight days. A lot of people you might say, and correct you would be. Well, because of my sickness, i had to bail on this massive function. Now i can hear your thoughts.... What a coincidence, the only time he gets sick, it just HAPPENS to be the BIGGEST function of the year... yeah right... And i can understand that point of view cos its what i would be thinking. But i have an alibi: Garreth.

You see, ever since this great, great man stopped working at Abbey, it hasnt been anywhere near as fun. However, being such a big function, they decided to call in a favour with the man they call 'G', and they got him to come in on Saturday. I was so amped about working with him again that i was devastated when i realised i would be too sick to work. He isnt happy about it either, wont Msg me back or reply on facebook.

I might have to send him flowers or something.

I had the worst sleeps over the weekend, but none worse than Monday night. I had been watching Seinfeld all day having been crook and all. But when i fell asleep i was caught in this weird, recurring limbo place, and all i would do i move my car down a one way street and argue about women from the 80's with George Castanza. It was really unusual, and gay, cos it kept happening over and over again. In the end i somehow came to the conclusion (half asleep) that i would have new dreams if i took my pants off. It didnt work.

Anyway i just want to let it be known how lame Brock is for not liking Tropic Thunder as much as me. But what can you expect, the guy likes High School Musical and stuff.

Its my birthday in just over a week so Brock, Jarryd, Mulks: If you want to come over here for a couple of hours to celebrate then fly back, youre welcome to. Really, you are. And if you dont, it means you have to by me a present. I didnt get you guys any but then again at least i was there when it was your bday. So get my a present and we'll call it even.

And it better not be a bag of rice like you got Jizzy one year.



Im off like Gary Lion on the stretcher hahahaha

Its been decided...

Yes, it's been decided which AFL players resemble three of your favourite boys the greatest. Here are the results:Brock most closely resembled Dale Thomas with a 46% majority. You can clearly see the resemblance in this completely unaltered photo.
Jarryd Kelly was the toughest to pigeon-hole, with Capper edging out Strauchanie with one vote. I think it was a very good choice, judging by how similar they look in the above photo.


Kelly Duthie was overwhelmingly crowned Cameron Ling in the pool, with a comprehensive 91% of votes going Ling's way. And too right too, look how much Ling looks like Kelly in the action shot above?

I would like to thank you all for voting, and if anyone has any ideas for the next Lambda Boys poll, please, let me know.

It's been a pleasure.

Which Footballer?

Which footballer is Jarryd Kelly? Is he the AFL chunkiest player, Stuart 'Schmoo' Dew? Or is he ex-player, tool, and blonde-locked bitch Warwick 'Pinnie' Capper (who, like Jarryd, doesnt mind showing a bit of ass), or crowd favourite Bryan 'Strauchanie' Strauchan, fat and blonde?



Which player is Brock Jeffery-Monck? The choices are Dale 'Daisy' Thomas (because of his girly bleached hair), Steve 'Devolution" Johnson (because he is the dopiest looking player) and Quinten 'Bruhn' Lynch (Cos he is all brawn and no brain).




Which footballer is Kelly Duthie? The three candidates are, in order, Matthew 'Master' Bate, Cameron 'The Pink Pig' Ling and Adam 'Ah' Cooney. They were selected based on the criteria that they are all fireminges obviously.

Leave some comments or vote on the poll. And if you leave a comment, gives reasons for your choice please, it will be much appreciated in deciding... Which footballer are you?

Im off like Jarryd's pants at any opportunity,

XxX Ale

Seperated at Birth?

I have scoured the earth to find the people that the boys in New Zealand were actually seperated at birth from. Here is the evidence:

Brock Monck and Dale Thomas are actually twins. To go with this photographic proof is the stark similarities between the pair. Both have poofterish tendencies to bleaching their hair, both have remarkable football ability and both support the wankiest AFL club there is - the Collingwood Magpies.


Jarryd Kelly and Borat are twin brothers, split apart by a terrible hospital mix-up. Along with the above evidence, there are undeniable facts which support this theory. Both have an unfounded shamelessness about their bodies, both own, and like to wear, G-Bangers, and both have weird homosexual characteristics.


Probably the greatest certainty of the lot is the shared blood of Kelly Duthie and Derek Zoolander. If the obvious proof above is not sufficient, consider these undeniable facts. They share a love for Male Modelling, both have a huge lack of modesty, and Kelly too, wants to be a merman. Kelly, like Zoolander, cannot go left but this tendency is only limited to basketball, which makes him so easy to read and hence steal off.

Im convinced these are real life tragedies, twin brothers separated at birth. If anyone has anymore evidence, or comments on the matter, feel free to leave them as it would help further this investigation and to reunite these lost brothers.

Jarryd's Bio....

Jarryd grew up in a large ditch called Manjimup. His birthplace and origins are unknown, sparking rumours that we is a descendant of Christ, a Gypsy, and the Son of really bad record keepers. None have been confirmed, but we do know the foundations of his life were laid in Manji.

As Jarryd grew up, he managed to eat whatever his parents fed him and more. This led to them feeding him a variety of vitamins and supplements, which eventually become too expensive, so they started making their own to satisfy Jarryd's needs. This was also beginning of the Pharmaceutical Empire known as the Kellys. Beneath is a photo of Jarryd and his friend Matt Carlsson, both reliant on the Kelly's goods at the time:

After Jarryd ate all the vegemite out of the Big Vegemite in Manjimup, his parents, Dog and Julie, decided enough was enough. They dragged their other sons and Jarryd to Busselton, away from Jarryd's sumo-wrestling girlfriend Imogen. He then met the Key members of the supergroup Landa Boys in a shared Naomi-Language Class. He was to become the final member, and conforming to this group was something Jarryd was hellbent on. So he kept a keen eye on other members, where he learnt how to get skinnier, how to be good at sports, and how to get with the ladies.

In his high school years Jarryd was noted on his humour and his woman-dominating skills, practiced every day on Karen, and his wonderfully bouncing and full blonde hair. Not a day would go by where Jarryd wasn't seen constantly looking in mirrors and fixing up his hair. He had keen eye for the Ball-in-hoop game, also known as Basketball, and was a deciding factor in many games played over the years. Here is a photo of Jarryd in the change rooms after a game of Basketball:


Upon graduation some of Jarryd's greatest accomplishments were reflected on. The conquering of Shannon, the conquering of Sam, and the conquering of Karen's Life. His conquering of many fast food meals also came to mind.

Today Jarryd is on of the greatest hair models and work-avoiders the world has ever seen. He spends his time avoiding things, bossing people around, eating, and not driving. Currently holidaying with friends in New Zealand, he is certainly keeping up his evasive tactics in terms of housework.

Mickies and Sickies

I was looking through my images the other day and i found this one that i had forgotten about. I took it at the McDonalds restaurant that Jarryd regularly goes to - coincidence? I think not.

Well Its pretty quiet in the T-Betta household ( for once). Sean is in Melbourne on a footy trip, Rohan is at the Grandies and Jacko is at Gay Boy Camp (Buzz camp for singing, dancing and acting). So we now only have 37 people living here. Haha.

I took a sickie today but not like Kelly frequently does (after one of his many nights out on the piss hooking up with random chicks), i am actually sick. My throat is sorer than Carlson's Girlfriend's face after Kelly dominated it with a volleyball. So yeah, pretty sore.

Anyway, not much to report seeing as i havnt been to training all week (due to sickness and work, its not like im just taking a holiday like some selfish bastards i know) so i have no new info. Its just me and the movies. Such as American Psycho, which just fucked with my mind. Its as confusing as Brock with braces.

Im off like an unfaithful man's wedding ring,

Alexxxox