Jarryd's Bio....

Jarryd grew up in a large ditch called Manjimup. His birthplace and origins are unknown, sparking rumours that we is a descendant of Christ, a Gypsy, and the Son of really bad record keepers. None have been confirmed, but we do know the foundations of his life were laid in Manji.

As Jarryd grew up, he managed to eat whatever his parents fed him and more. This led to them feeding him a variety of vitamins and supplements, which eventually become too expensive, so they started making their own to satisfy Jarryd's needs. This was also beginning of the Pharmaceutical Empire known as the Kellys. Beneath is a photo of Jarryd and his friend Matt Carlsson, both reliant on the Kelly's goods at the time:

After Jarryd ate all the vegemite out of the Big Vegemite in Manjimup, his parents, Dog and Julie, decided enough was enough. They dragged their other sons and Jarryd to Busselton, away from Jarryd's sumo-wrestling girlfriend Imogen. He then met the Key members of the supergroup Landa Boys in a shared Naomi-Language Class. He was to become the final member, and conforming to this group was something Jarryd was hellbent on. So he kept a keen eye on other members, where he learnt how to get skinnier, how to be good at sports, and how to get with the ladies.

In his high school years Jarryd was noted on his humour and his woman-dominating skills, practiced every day on Karen, and his wonderfully bouncing and full blonde hair. Not a day would go by where Jarryd wasn't seen constantly looking in mirrors and fixing up his hair. He had keen eye for the Ball-in-hoop game, also known as Basketball, and was a deciding factor in many games played over the years. Here is a photo of Jarryd in the change rooms after a game of Basketball:


Upon graduation some of Jarryd's greatest accomplishments were reflected on. The conquering of Shannon, the conquering of Sam, and the conquering of Karen's Life. His conquering of many fast food meals also came to mind.

Today Jarryd is on of the greatest hair models and work-avoiders the world has ever seen. He spends his time avoiding things, bossing people around, eating, and not driving. Currently holidaying with friends in New Zealand, he is certainly keeping up his evasive tactics in terms of housework.